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Here we have for sale the green monster that can only be Phil and Teds. I shall be glad to see it leave my premises and never return.
This was purchased against my wishes many years ago as I never wanted any children and a buggy signified my wife’s intent to have children. We argued much and this buggy signifies everything that ended my happy carefree low cost child free life.
This buggy clearly meant she intended to have not just one but multiple children and the extortionate price of this buggy will stay imprinted on my brain till the day I die. I have bought cars that cost less than this buggy. My dad once bought a house that cost less than this buggy.
Anyway as you can tell I hate the buggy. I now have 3 children, and a Labrador and am forced to endure the school run where women I dont know try and discuss the price of centre parc holidays, and the benefits of the micro over the mini micro scooter. To summarize my life is over and this green albatross needs to go round some other poor sods neck.
On the positive none of my three children were stupidly fat, but its been driven by my wife a lot so not all good. During its lifetime its had pretty much every bodily fluid known to science, (and several that have yet to be discovered) chucked over it by my children, Its also absorbed its own weight in Ellas Kitchen meals, and mud.
I have tried to maintain this item as best I could and the wheels were filled with green slime to prevent punctures, and WD40 has been used with gusto on the relevant parts. It even comes with what I lovingly refer to as the Cinderella attachment for the second child you have but dont love as much as the first. It means they can sit but cant see anything, and have a ride thats about as comfortable as a Ford Model T.
All of my children are now walking (often in completely the wrong direction) but someone else deserves to give this a good home. Over the years I have collected spare bits from other zombified fathers who were once full of life and I will throw these in as well.
According to the other half she has the baby carry item that came with this and the pannier bags (whatever they are) but she never used them and they are immaculate and will be listed when she conquers her fear of heights and gets into the loft.
This buggy has never been used for dog sledding, racing, or buggy bumper cars, although I once used it to concuss a randy Alsatian that tried getting amorous with my lab.
There are many adverts on here for immaculate models and these people are all liars and scoundrels as nothing that comes into contact with a young child is ever immaculate.
So for a starting price of just £9.99 you too can screw up your life. There are programs for those of you who need to recover from drugs or alcohol. Any money generated from this sale will be used to help me recover from children (and probably involve drugs and alchohol)
So spend big – its for a good cause…
Die Anzeige
Wir haben ein grünes Monster zu verkaufen, das nur ein Phil and Teds sein kann. Ich werde glücklich sein, wenn es mein Grundstück verlässt und nie mehr zurückkehrt.
Es wurde vor vielen Jahren gegen meinen Willen gekauft, weil ich nie Kinder haben wollte und ein Buggy bedeutete, dass meine Frau die Absicht hatte, welche zu bekommen. Wir haben viel darüber gestritten und dieser Buggy steht für alles, was mein sorgloses, günstiges, kinderfreies Leben beendete.
Der Buggy bedeutete ganz klar, dass sie nicht nur ein, sondern gleich mehrere Kinder wollte und der unverschämte Preis für das Ding wird mir bis zu meinem Tod im Gedächtnis bleiben. Ich habe Autos gekauft, die billiger waren. Mein Vater hat mal ein Haus gekauft, das billiger war.
Wie auch immer – ich hasse diesen Buggy. Ich habe inzwischen drei Kinder sowie einen Labrador und bin gezwungen, den Schulweg durchzustehen, auf dem mir unbekannte Frauen versuchen, die Preise von Centre–Parc-Urlauben und die Vorzüge von Micro- gegenüber Mini-Micro-Rollern zu diskutieren. Um es zusammenzufassen: Mein Leben ist vorbei und dieser grüne Albtraum soll jetzt einen anderen armen Idioten quälen.
…
Dieser Kinderwagen wurde nie für Hundeschlittenfahrten, Rennen oder Buggy-Auto-Scooter eingesetzt, allerdings habe ich ihn einmal gegen einen geilen Schäferhund eingesetzt, der versucht hat, meinen Labrador in ein Liebesspiel zu verwickeln.
Es gibt hier viele Anzeigen für tadellose Modelle, aber die Verkäufer sind alle Lügner und Halunken, denn nichts, was mit einemKleinkind in Kontakt kommt, kann makellos bleiben.
Für einen Startpreis von 9,99 Pfund können auch Sie Ihr Leben ruinieren. Es gibt Maßnahmen für diejenigen unter euch, die sich von Alkohol und Drogen erholen müssen. Das Geld, das diese Auktion einbringen wird, wird dafür ausgegeben, dass ich mich von meinen Kindern erholen kann (wozu wahrscheinlich Alkohol und Drogen gehören werden).
Also seid großzügig, es ist für einen guten Zweck …
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